[Originally posted 6/11/20.]
Part 54 is our last Netflix entry….
Jessica Jones season 3:
#3.01 “AKA The Perfect Burger”:
–Ooh, a beach.
–“You think you can judge me?” Not until you asked that question, lady.
–Glad Vido’s still around, & while Jess & Oscar might not’ve worked out, at least it was the healthiest relationship of her life.
–What law did Jessica break? Oh, right, the Sokovia Accords.
–Dat Snick couch tho.
–“Something happened regarding your mother’s death, but Trish had nothing to do with it.” Dorothy, you were *almost* sympathetic.
–This is cowardly, Jeri, & incredibly cruel to ask of someone else.
–That’s a bizarre “jump” for Jessica to have made without some kind of horizontal propulsion. Hmm.
–I like that the jerk ballplayer’s date is smart enough not to ride with him drunk.
–And now, Malcolm Ducasse in Every Car Crash Commercial.
–Pretty sure this bartender was supposed to be Josie, but they couldn’t get the actress back.
–Dude at the bar is kinda great.
–Dang, looks like that kid’s dad really was bad news after all!
#3.02 “AKA You’re Welcome”:
–Directed by Krysten Ritter, so Jessica is barely in this one, which is odd for detective noir. Ritter definitely learned from the better of this show’s bullpen, grabbing the cool mystery angles when she can.
–We’re flashing back through the past year since S2. Even in her own inner monologue, Trish can’t admit to the enormity of her wrongdoing.
–Hellcat’s powers include enhanced reflexes, agility, endurance, & senses (especially night vision).
–Unlike Jess, who waits for people to ask for help, Trish is going out looking for trouble like a beat cop, & we already have too many of them.
–Trish does need a disguise lest her own fame give her away, but the comic-accurate Hellcat costume *is* pretty silly.
–Of course Trish hates the part of Jess’s job that ensures she actually gets the right people.
–Ugh, that smug “you’re welcome.”
–Well, dang. That’s inappro-pro.
–“Is it still available in bordeaux?” “That’s my favorite color!” Ok, but is it still available?
–What the hell is happening to you, Malcolm?
#3.03 “AKA I Have No Spleen”:
–My spleen just doesn’t matter, don’t really care about my bladder, but I don’t leave home without my pancreas.
–This isn’t just a truck hitting you, Jess; you gotta rest.
–Well, dang, that’s an awkward HR convo waiting to happen.
–“A hero has a g****** spleen.”
–That burger did sound freaking delicious; I’m impressed it held up so well cold. Erik knows what he’s talking about, & he’s good with boundaries too.
–Ugh, Hogarth is gonna try to break up Kith & her husband. The reveal about their open marriage is a nice wake-up call for Jeri.
–Dat mustard stain tho.
–Well, dang. Cello, is it me you’re looking for?
–This doctor is great.
–AKA The Peanut Gallery.
#3.04 “AKA Customer Service is Standing By”:
–What’s more innocent than kids playing by the pool?
–Daw, Jessica is confirmed a good person by super-radar-migraines.
–Trish’s chronic inability to mind her own freaking business is gonna get Erik in more trouble.
–Malcolm & Zaya are cute.
–Jess & Erik hunting his marks is kinda cool.
–Malcolm has the perfect reaction to finding out Trish of all people got powers.
–How long of a day was this if 12 hours after Jess & Erik talked in sunlight was still sunlight?
–Kith, that’s unsanitary.
–Sallinger projects his own faults onto others & has an entitlement complex the likes of which I haven’t seen since the last time I got into an argument with alt-right trolls. He also went too far with the 911 call; his own cameras will prove him wrong. Emergency response doesn’t look too kindly on false reports.
–“Are you a family member?” “No, I just need to know if she’s okay.” “Ma’am, that’s a HIPAA violation.”
–Sallinger thinks he’s figured Jess out, but she has something he doesn’t know about, & it just sold her a sweater.
#3.05 “AKA I Wish”:
–If literally anyone got into a tangle with Sallinger on the street right now, he’s screwed.
–Peter arguing with Jeri is ridiculous because they’re both vile.
–Trish is taking a lot of photos that Jess already has; Sallinger’s trophy album is the only important part.
–Are people with names like Gor required by law to become hulking brutes or what?
–What kind of hotel has communal showers?
–Peter, whistleblowing isn’t a disregard for due process. And you don’t have the right to paint a target on a bunch of powered people just to distract from your own crimes.
–Props to Melissa Rosenberg for not repeating the mistake of Brian Yorkey.
–Well, dang. The burger was that good, eh?
–Kith, like, obviously Jeri did it, but Peter didn’t *actually* have proof of that.
–Gotta hand it to you, Greg.
–If you could’ve destroyed the bodies all along, why wait until somebody found them?
–“I wish I didn’t kill your mom.” Wow.
–I pity the fool who doesn’t realize why he’s getting a headache in his hotel room.
#3.06 “AKA Sorry Face”:
–Yeah, if Costa hadn’t made a promise to the hubby, he’d be drinking with you.
–Sallinger’s rhetoric is familiar; he’s an incel.
–Malcolm, just tell Zaya you’re on vacation & Hogarth already knows about it.
–“That’s exactly the level of discourse I expected.” Well, it’s the level you DESERVE, based on YOUR ACTIONS.
–Holy crap, Malcolm, what the hell?
–Geri, you brought bagels to a funeral?
–“All I’m seeing now is vanity & lies.” But everything he’s saying is true.
—Papa Sallinger, if Gregory isn’t lying.
–The chef’s story really emphasizes how narcissistic & shallow Sallinger really is; he called the guy a fraud & tried to kill him over a single mistake. All his bluster about “bringing pain to power” & “having the only superpower that isn’t a fraud” is all a smokescreen, a rationalization so he can dismiss hard evidence that what he’s doing is wrong without having to admit he does it because he likes it.
–“The DA took one look at this case & passed.” As ever, Tower is a coward.
–Benowitz is a welcome moment of levity, but Danny’s gonna be pissed when he gets back.
–Trish, Erik will die if he goes to jail, full stop.
#3.07 “AKA The Double Half-Wappinger”:
–Hogarth, you massive heap of garbage.
–More MRA garbage from Sallinger. Even Geri ain’t putting up with that.
–“When you cozy up to maniacs, you get hurt.” That’s not hypothetical, solid S1 callback.
–Wappinger Falls is a real place, even though it’s the fakest-sounding name in the entire MCU.
–Leveraging Trish’s *other* superpower: Patsy.
–“They’re just casulties of biochemical mishaps.” Tell that to Iron Man, War Machine, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Vision, Ant-Man, Falcon, & Iron Fist. I’m glad Malcolm inserted himself into this conversation, if only to throw Sallinger off for a second.
–AKA Gazebo is a Fun Word.
–Go with the all-white one, Trish; the others are ugly as sin.
–This power-hungry small-town cop is the first time police have been depicted as obstructive to justice in a Netflix show. Not coincidentally, the department depicted thusly isn’t the NYPD.
–If what Sallinger means by “I bring pain to power” is “I kill anyone who outperforms me,” then yes.
–Trish’s weird little photo session is stupid.
–The “fair fight” challenge is very Yon-Rogg.
#3.08 “AKA Camera Friendly”:
–Cats, yeah, Dorothy gets it!
–Sallinger is going to kill somebody because he felt embarrassed, yet another page right out of the alt-white-supremacist handbook.
–What’s the only way to neutralize Dorothy? Make a live performance depend on her.
–InstaYap sounds like some useless garbage.
–“BigTimeWrassler”, nice.
–Gillian actually brings the bourbon, I love it. She’s been delightful.
–Dorothy had very realistic expectations for Jess’s interview & is appropriately proud that she accomplished her goal; it’s kinda sweet.
–Jess jumps straight up with Trish. Unless she then altered her trajectory mid-air (AKA flying), they would’ve just come straight back down.
–“Jessica Jones, a former client of mine…” …isn’t that privileged information?
–Aw, Jess appreciates Dorothy for once, too.
–It’s dark out at 7pm in NYC. People have been saying this season was set in June, but the sun stays up past 8 then; it has to be earlier in the year.
–Poor Dorothy.
#3.09 “AKA I Did Something Today”:
–Not like Sallinger doesn’t have it coming, but Jess is right; murder isn’t the best solution.
–“They’ll put you away, or worse; that’s what they do to people like us.” The glory of the Accords.
–Looks like you were wrong about Jessica’s “true nature.”
–Never. Turn. Off. Your. Body. Cam.
—In this clip, Kith will be played by Donald Faison.
–Well, now we finally got Erik’s backstory. Wow, man.
–See, they noticed the poo puddle immediately, not right before it exploded, Alice & Gene Hernandez.
–Not gonna lie, I thought Jessica was gonna find some way to cheat Sallinger instead of actually doing it.
–Part of what Erik senses is guilt & empathy. Jess still has those even when she’s forced to do something bad.
–Now THOSE are scars. Take that, Jigsaw.
–Malcolm twisting the knife on Hogarth is great.
–Oof, hopefully Costa’s life doesn’t get ruined by this.
–Trish, you are just so dumb.
#3.10 “AKA Hero Pants”:
–“Not that fast.” Jess isn’t too put off by the spleen loss after a couple weeks, but if she’s torn up her hands last night, they’d still show marks.
–Several of Patsy’s songs? I thought she only had 2?
–Erik isn’t physically capable of killing somebody like Nussbaumer, at least not at melee range; his headaches would be too severe.
–Dorothy’s ringtone was “Cray-Cray”! 😆
–Geri might genuinely be repentant for once in her life, but she still doesn’t really understand *how* to be.
–Well, dang.
–Dorothy was an abusive mother, but an outstanding agent.
–Well, dang. Genuinely never expected to see Brianna again.
–Jess is gonna need an alibi real soon before she gets shipped off to the Raft forever.
–Yep, it’s Patsy.
#3.11 “Hellcat”:
–Flashback time: It only took us until the 44th 42nd episode out of the 48 44 Karen Trish appears in to find out why she’s like this. (I mean, we already knew, but still.)
–Don’t cross out all parentheticals, but that swoon WAS terrible.
–Sallinger had prepared for Ganondorf & instead got Sheik.
–If the best response you have to being accused of wife-beating is “she’s not my wife”, then screw you.
–Sallinger got a “sorry face” out of Dorothy? Ha, doubt it!
–Heh, actual Patsy comics.
–Nussbaummer might be the first piece of crap NYPD officer in the franchise who wasn’t being directly paid off by one of the shows’ villains.
–The lead actor absolutely should NOT call out the rest of the cast & crew for things.
–Even Erik, who literally gets high off these guys’ deaths, wants Trish to stop.
–Credits: If you told me in 2015 that the “It’s Patsy” theme would become the most chilling piece of music I’d heard in ages….
#3.12 “AKA A Lotta Worms”:
–Yeah, sure, ask a favor of the person you just tried to falsely convict for murder when that would’ve meant she got locked in the Raft forever.
—Ring out. Jess wins this round.
–Sallinger is forced to admit he doesn’t know something about Jessica…but he’s still an ungrateful, spiteful SOB.
–Greg, that “intentionally indifferent rebel rock garb” is her dead boyfriend’s jacket, you idiot.
–“You pretend like you never wanted it?” What 14 year old wants their whole family to die in front of them, you sicko?
–“It’s messed up.” “Then let me go.” “That would be more messed up.” Spot on, Malcolm.
–Now who’s predictable, you smug jerk?
–Ugh, Jessica did all that work, & Trish’s clueless co-host ruined it.
–Everyone’s in heavy coats; who the crap was saying this is June!?
–Rest in pieces, Sallinger.
#3.13 “AKA Everything”:
–Luke is here to give great advice, acknowledge the risks of his current situation, & reopen my dreams of the Jones-Cage marriage.
–Trish is starting to rationalize like, & even talk like, Sallinger. You can’t “cheat” bleeding from the eyes.
–Patseras got as lucky as that chef, though Patseras is actually guilty.
–I love when Hogarth’s crap comes back on her. I don’t love it when she escapes by throwing Jessica in immediate physical harm’s way yet again. Thank goodness Kith didn’t fall for any of it.
–Oof, sorry, Malcolm. And even more sorry, Zaya.
–That webcast was the point of no return.
–A red wig? Trish, that’s what most people think you look like anyway!
–“No drugs.” Credit where it’s due, Trish knows better than to expose herself to drugs again.
—Jess catching up to Trish. (Stop at 0:20)
—In this clip, Byleth will play the role of Jessica, Captain Falcon will play the role of Trish, & the punch will play the role of the knife. (Stop at 16:33)
–Costa says it outright: The Accords have screwed powered people out of due process completely.
–Medical advice: Kung pao chicken is not an adequate form of first aid for injuries.
–Jessica’s departure almost ends the Netflix sub-franchise on a really depressing beat before she realizes that’s exactly what Kilgrave would want her to do. Now to get that key back from Malcolm.
–Aww, Stan.
Executive summary: Netflix goes out on a high note, as the MCU’s premier detective takes down an all-too-timely serial killer before getting punched right in the emotional face yet again. The cast slays. The story beats were much better paced than season 2.